On Monday, Elizabeth said she would start emailing us basic profiles (slightly more information than the photolisting gives) on the five boys we’d asked about by Wednesday. So all day, every time there’s a new email for me I jump. There’s no email from Elizabeth, who may be working on it or may be too busy or may have forgotten (though I’m not going to assume that or ask until at least tomorrow, I’ve decided, though I haven’t passed that decision along to Lee because that way if she asks I’m not responsible for it) and finally as the day winds down I’m starting to expect it less. Elizabeth’s a great worker who works into the night, though, so there’s still plenty of Wednesday left for her to meet that deadline.
But school is finishing up around here. The ideal setup was for us to be looking at placement of a child around this time. Then I’d use my parental leave for the month of June until Lee’s home full-time July through September. We’d have plenty of time for bonding and attachment before school starts again in the fall.
Now, instead, we’re hoping that we’ll find The Child and be able to do a transition by the time school starts. Especially with an older child, it seems to add so many layers of complication to try to change schools during the year, especially since the goal is supposed to be stability and permanency. I don’t know how the social workers deal with this, whether it matters. But mentally we have just this little window until August/September when the schools start up again and then after that we’d have to aim for maybe January. And the longer we wait, the more we have to worry (oh, who am I kidding? I worry; Lee just assumes everything will work out fine in its own fine time, which is why I’m the one with the blog) about the planned reintroduction of a proposed legislative ban on adoptions by cohabiting adults.
So I want this to happen. I want it to happen now. I don’t mind on the selfish side getting less parental leave since Lee will be home (I’m eligible for more if I’m the only adult in the household during work hours) if we can just get this going now, while things are good and safe and promising.
Really I just want more information, though. Even if none of these boys seems right for us, I’ll feel better knowing that we looked and made that decision. I’m not going to just grab the first body that comes our way, but this feels more like standing and waiting for bodies I know will be coming, which is the difficult and frustrating part!
But since we don’t have a child now, we’ve gone ahead and gotten a new roof for the house, some painting done on the outside of the house where the painter thinks there may never have been a repaint in 100+ years, and now we’re planning to get our porch fixed and our side yard sitting area tidied. Maybe it’s nesting, maybe it’s a way to pass the time. Certainly these are things that need to be done if we’re ever going to sell the house, though not all are necessary for habitation.
But I think we both come home every day and see the work our fantastic painter has done and think how nice it’s going to be to have a bigger family in this lovely house. Soon, soon, someday at least. I know I got a lot of credit earlier for being calm about the waiting, but there are parts of it I don’t manage very well. Clearly this is one. I am calm on the outside but my heart is flipping and eager all the time. I guess both parts are the real me.