Because we’ve been really been thinking in a lot of parallel tracks about how we’ll proceed with adoption stuff, I just want to give a quick rundown here of what’s going on as of now.
Elizabeth will come over in 10 days or so and we’ll talk about getting our homestudy corrected. She doesn’t know what the protocol is for this (maybe because ours is the first ever to have errors, but I kind of doubt that since our homestudy worker Kate has the most seniority and experience in the region; instead I suspect it’s because unlike in other places we don’t have the right to look over our homestudies and Lee and I only got ours because we made a freedom-of-information request at the state level) but she’s talked to her supervisor and they’re looking into it. I’ll feel a lot better about sending out a document that has flaws but not dramatic differences from reality.
Within our state, my high school classmate has given Elizabeth a copy of the file for the maybe-gay white teen boy on her caseload. He has significant challenges facing him, but they’d be ones we’d be willing to work with if the state decided our home would be the best placement for him. It would be kind of a stretch for us, but it would be in keeping with our commitment to help kids stay in their home regions and learn to live in an affirming community. We’re also waiting to hear more on these Middle Eastern brothers. We’ll probably go ahead and send out our file on them just because we have nothing to lose (since although we can only have our file out for one case in-state at a time, we can’t do anything more formal with the other boy until his case goal changes to TPR or adoption) but it’s looking like a long shot for several reasons.
In our two months with Adopt America Network, we’ve spent a lot of time sorting out what’s going on with our homestudy and how best to present ourselves in light of that. I get emails from Claudia or someone else at AAN almost daily about kids from all over the country looking for homes, which is heartbreaking but also reminds me to be optimistic about our chances of being matched.
We’ve had AAN send out our study several times. The first one, a boy about 10, has already been turned down because they’re not looking for an adoptive home for him now. We’ve also had ours sent out on three different black teen boys and one teen girl (who did feature my pet peeve issue of a homestudy making a point of talking about how she’s learning to be girly instead of a tomboy, which clearly pleases her worker but may or may not do all that much for her own self-esteem) and a young sibling duo.
Today Claudia emailed with a 9-year-old boy she thinks might be The One, and he falls right into the area of what we’re looking for. One of the photos of him shows that his face structure (and maybe skin color, though that’s always hard to gauge) is very much like Lee’s, so I’m glad we sent a lot of pictures along with our Dear Worker letter. Ever since Atlasien’s post about physical resemblance and matching decisions this is something that I’ve had in the back of my mind. It’s one of the reasons Lee initially wanted a biracial child specifically, because she thought people would feel more comfortable that he “fit” our family if it looked like either of us could have been his biological mom.
I have no idea where any of this is going. Well, I trust Claudia to advocate for us. I mean, she took our Dear Worker letter and photos and sent them out to hundreds of social workers she deals with just to see if that would ring any bells! We love Claudia!! And I trust that Elizabeth will be able to get things improved on our study, though that will probably take some time. We also signed up for a state-sponsored weekend training session in November, and I’m looking forward to that. But September is drawing to a close and I just wanted to take a minute to look back. Last year at this time, we had graduated from our training class and gotten through two of our three homestudy visits from Kate. A year later, we don’t have a child (which we’d expected) but we’re working toward one still. A year from now, we’ll have some kind of final resolution. Wow!