… and a teamOctober 23, 2012
I forgot to add in the last post that when Nia and Mara decide to do the same thing / eat the same food / use the same color cup / wear matching clothes / ask for similar hairstyles, they always say “because we are a team!” This comes pretty equally from each of them and whichever decides to make the “team” always gets support from the other. I’m sure it’s reassuring for them to have that matchiness. I never had a sister and it’s not something the brother after me and I really would have done, but it cracks me up that they both want apple juice “because we are a team!” and I can support that.
This morning as I was getting Nia dressed, I reminded her that she’s seeing someone special today. Her eyes lit up and she had a sly smile. “It’s Lulu Whitney!” she laughed, using Mara’s mom’s nickname that Mara uses as part of the name when talking about (Lulu) Veronica. If “Lulu” is going to become the honorific for birth/first/biological mom around here, I’m okay with that too.
Lee and I talked a little in our counseling session yesterday about the stresses of having two kids as opposed to one, how I’m spending way too many of my waking hours on parenting-related stuff and yet for a lot of it there’s no good alternative. What I think it’s sometimes harder for Lee to see than it is for me is what a joy it is to have two, what pleasure they take in each other’s company. (I mean, Lee sees that and knows its value for Mara, but it doesn’t have the same emotional impact on her that it has on me, probably because they’re dripping apple juice on the table while toasting one another and whatnot.)
I also think it’s good that I’m such a minority in my own home now. Mara has another girl with brown skin and curly hair right there with her, as does Nia. They both tease Lee and steal her hats off her head when she’s sitting down and go to her for hugs and tickles. They both come to me for talks and cuddling. Lee and I have been spending a lot of time focusing on tag-teaming or giving each other breaks, but really there are a lot of times when all four of us are together and having fun that I do have that same feeling, that we are a team. Maybe I need to just grab onto that and get us all some matching ice cream cones or something.