updates

I haven’t written here in way too long, though I’ve wanted to. I’ve been sick and now I’m sick again, though it’s nothing dangerous. The girls are wonderful. Nia was chosen as student of the month for her class (just as Valerie was last year this month, so we’ll see if Mara can keep up the pattern next year in kindergarten!) and I had a good meeting with her teacher last week. Her lawyer and both caseworkers are coming over later this month before court, and I suspect that means that her caseplan is going to be changed to adoption. I guess we’ll know more about that soon. I’m sorry that her mom hasn’t been making progress and that Nia is having to deal with so much sadness and uncertainty, but she’s doing it amazingly well.

I think, too about the shadow children. Val and Alex have been gone for a year now. I talk to Colton pretty regularly, but Rowan isn’t a part of our lives right now, though I’ve heard he’s spending more time in our area. I miss him very much and hope he’s doing okay and that I’ll get to know first-hand someday soon. I don’t expect to hear more about Val and Alex, really, though I think of them often and Mara has been talking about them more lately. Mara’s siblings seem to be doing okay living with relatives, but because I’ve been contagious I haven’t gotten to see them yet. That will change when it can.

Lee and I are doing well, too, though we have moments of seriously getting on each other’s nerves. We’ve learned and grown so much in this last year and I’m incredibly grateful to have her as a partner in whatever happens next for our family. Today is my birthday and she’s worked with the girls to make a lot of lovely things happen for me. 

I do have a lot more to say, more than this, but I want to say how grateful I am for the people who’ve commented to say this miss hearing about us, for the people who don’t say that but still read. It’s been hard to figure out how to balance writing what I want to and still being respectful of the privacy of others. I took a break from twitter for that reason, because I’m tired of venting online and it’s not productive for me. But I do want to be able to write here and I expect to do so more soon. I love that I get to do this, all of this, parenting, blogging, loving someone who loves me! I am so fortunate in so many ways. (But also sick. Blech!)

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