Pseudonyms and Us

Thorn and Lee are not, in fact our real names. Pseudonymity just seems prudent when writing a blog like this. The pseudonyms have tangential relations to our real names, but mostly I just chose them because they’re short and easy to type, as far as I know unique in the adoption blogosphere, and a little bit androgynous even though our real names are quite feminine. I have other places I can write online under my real name and I do just that. I don’t want to be deceptive here, just honest, and keeping our names and locations the tiniest bit cloaked seems like the best way to deal with that.

That said, if you know Lee or me by our other names whether online or in person and you’re reading this blog, I’d appreciate if you’d drop me a line at motherissues-at-gmail-dot-com (with no hyphens and appropriate punctuation) to let me know that. It’s the control freak in me. I want to get back to being 14 when I was coming out and keeping a little list in my journal/creative writing notebook about Who Knew. I don’t plan to change my writing based on who’s out there since anyone could be reading anyway, but it would make me more comfortable to know who’s aware of what I’m saying here. At minimum, it could get you out of having to hear anecdotes you’ve heard already. Well, actually, if you know us already you know there’s no honest way for me to make a promise like that.



  1. Hi Thorn

    Having recently discovered your blog I’m really enjoying it. Your take on the anonymity thing fits with mine. I’m struggling a bit altogether with the way I talk about my daughter in my blog; it does seem to be such a minefield no matter which way I turn. Thanks for acknowledging the problem in a way that is respectful for everyone.

    Looking forward to reading more,


  2. […] over at Mother Issues has sort of written about this here, although she mostly talks about using pseudonyms.  It’s nice to see a blogger writing about […]

  3. Possibly a stupid question, but is Mara a pseudonym?

  4. Not a stupid question, and it is a pseudonym. It’s short for Maryam, also a pseudonym. The only real names I’ve used are those of bloggers who write under their real names.

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